if a possession, a possession underdeveloped-
we play hide and seek
touching nothing and everything at once.
the stable ground. with each other
there was that float.
i love the float. i long for it.
i am angry without it.
wasn't i careful to not drain you? did i
somehow? it's been my magic trick before.
please tell me i wasn't so primitive-
no, not with you
would i ever want to be primitive.
this does not go without a complaint,
as i interpret my role as one pigeon-holed.
was i too fixated on that float
to unveil my face
to the fact of the matter?
was i not happy?
was i really not happy with the way
things felt like they were going? could it be?
we run without prevail. hide and seek. ready or not.
this is my last happy memory.
unlike the wake of the soul
our bodies are apart. they are on their own.
it goes on this way.
this is not your hurt alone.
i'd prefer to not go down in history
as another tragic girl that you believed
needed your care.
as i say, this hurt is not yours alone.
i'd like to die for your sins, and your sins alone.
for lent i give you up.
in a dream i pick up smoking.