Friday, April 24, 2015

ego's poetry.

composing a gorgeous poem
along the train of thought

then forgetting it.
composing a list
of things that are westernized instead

whether they are
things westernized 
or not.

the following will be made up
as i go along:

hoping without praying.
hoping without putting
too much effort
into seeing the light
at the other end of the tunnel.

quitting things for yourself
and no other reason
as you know yourself and yourself
alone.
wondering if you've ever
i mean truly
ever done that.
falling off wagons.
being addicted to alcohol
because of its accessibility.
being addicted to cigarettes
because at the age of sixteen
it seemed pretty cool.

losing everything
because your heart is on your sleeve
though you brag about how it clearly
is not.

not being lou reed.

catching fleas.
catching herpes.

throwing things away.
being stupid.
not knowing exactly what it was
that you did wrong
as you were compelled

and if you were compelled
you had a choice yes
but you would've gone insane

if you didn't go along with it.

doing insane things while being sane.
hoping if you do them
you will go insane

and then you can stop fighting all the time.

simply not getting it.
not getting shit.

freaking out.

seeking help.
not shutting the fuck up.

feeling incredibly selfish.

compensating for it.
de-compensating.

talking about the government and stuff.
my opinion
is a fact.

being insecure.

reading, but not well.
feeling stupid because you do not read well.

along the statistic bell curve,
having a probably low IQ

because you suck at tests and math too.

out with antiquity in with the absurd.
boring shit that feeds machines
that are addicted to being rich
is in fashion.

if i was rich i wouldn't know what to do
with myself
either.

growing old.
being ready. one day.
for anything.

please. anything. i'd love
for one day

to be ready
for fucking anything.

i will do anything it takes
to not be stuck anymore.

that's what i have been saying the whole time.