Sunday, May 31, 2015

the fit and fury of lenore.

whoever thought up the rich idea that anti-drug commercials would frighten kids from getting anywhere near them was naive. now that i'm old watching those on youtube is very funny. and they are also cruel.
i was traumatized by a t.r.u.t.h commercial once- for years. what would happen was i would smoke weed and panic that my life was a t.r.u.t.h commercial. i don't have to deal with that anymore- one reason being that i realize their advertisements were very extreme and threatening to my sense of security.
it also all started this particular time i got laced. i'm not sure if that is true- i've just been told this is what happened by different people i've told the story to. this is possible, as it's not unlikely most weed out there is laced. but this was...different. perhaps i was roofied, and saved by the grace of an enormous panic attack. it all started when i thought of this particular t.r.u.t.h commercial immediately after looking at my phone that had been in my purse, learning that my friend i had been hanging out with prior had been sending me ruthless, harassing texts and phone-calls- as many that can be possibly squeezed in a period of like twenty-five minutes. i blacked out, apparently or somehow. it all ended with the guy who i had just met and smoked weed with in his car, driving me aimlessly as i couldn't figure out a safe destination, yet believing we were on hawaii- him driving me to my doom as a sex slave in a remote trafficking empire.

i have sinced gained street-cred via adult life experience, and maturity from how i react to these experiences. this being said, i'm not scared of the same exact shit anymore. the television and it's 't.r.u.t.h' advertisements don't appear nearly as concerned with the war on drugs anymore. it appears more concerned with kicking the tobacco industries ass, and promoting as much alcoholism as you can fit into a television set.

so let me tell you something.
if we ever get involved with drugs, it's because the idea is appealing during the moment. drugs appeal to our innate inquisitiveness. at earlier points in our lives, this sure might read like a recipe for a disaster- a problem is something that blinds a person. however, in life comes a point when you become fond of behavior. behavior is how you react to a thought or an emotion, or most likely a mix of both. you become fond of knowing behavior can change very easily, so you are not stuck with either being a total dirtbag or a straightedge kid. i know, this totally sounds as if i'm writing this specifically for you. what it is is that this is a law so it applies to everyone (therefore you are never alone).

I. THE LAW: THE BEHAVIOR OF THE INNER GENIUS IS FIFTY PERCENT RETARDED FIFTY PERCENT BRILLIANT AT ALL TIMES.
II. BEHAVIOR IS NOT ALL THERE IS THOUGH, SO WE CAN LAUGH AT BEHAVIOR AND LOVE THAT WE CAN DO THAT NOW.

our brains are hard-wired to react according to the make-up of the personality. and drugs are appealing to many, many people. i honestly think that certain drugs make people stupider is because they have to turn their lives into living lies because their drugs are so taboo. that, and drugs fuck with our bodies and relationships, but that will all change. it will change with the de-criminalization of all drugs that i propose should be, no matter how many people wind up getting hit by cars. that, and also because this orderly that once sexually harassed me [in the psych ward] informed me that mushrooms and weed should be legalized because they're totally groovy.
everyone rather faithfully holds onto a scale which decides what bad drugs are and what good drugs are. there is nothing wrong with doing a good drug.
we take in sensory information and generate according to the architectures of our neurons. that's how we all learn differently, class. we learn from unique experiences!

ed: or that song "because i got high"