Saturday, July 4, 2015

peace offering.

growing up takes considering- choosing a stance
on time. do i want to turn

into my so-much-potential? one day-

perhaps i'd like to wind up
wrong-handed-

each painchord dictated by i don't know who but
they'll gaslight my ass, staring at me
without interruption, manipulating

their every fiber of intelligence
toward a cause i find worthless- every brilliant liar is terrible.

and i'll jump
when they tell me to jump- no longer
because i just don't hold still. there will be
incentive this time.

all effort is toward the cause
of preparing for the future- not for
the future itself, but for
the escapism of hope

if it can be quantified.

for the anomaly of nature

gravitating toward

nature-atmosphere
is the best a prospect of hopes/dreams can get-
i can't

just ask for something and
get it. you has to know

your motivations for asking for it
beforehand.
only the hungered bloodthirst

for instant
gratification on behalf of
the willing end asks for it.

dear

empirical nihilism, this is what i'm
wearing: that

lucid dream we all hunt. it's not
just you.

the tree is old and knows just as much
shadow-taste,

identifying it or not.

and so does god. god and the
aum shanti, shanti, shanti-
a lecture on a bent knee- be in love
and carry yourself that way-

peaks are obvious. what's wrong with you
if they aren't?
don't you carry
a spare pair of stilts around?

i don't have
a green thumb

not even for the necessary growth
i'm a dumbass
what can i say

i hold growth in too high regard
and the stems
crane down inspecting me like i'm

one of many phases of the moon-
are you about- are you
about to change again? will it-
will it be resplendent?

them on me- of eyesearssensory
capabilities- and i'm

not
going
to

screw it up
this time.

i'm gonna ask for it.

and i'm gonna ask for it
like i'm going to confession. a fuckingfuneral-

purging secret-tissue
pickled inside a pickled mind, setting the venom free

to the road traveled often-
unremarkables untold. my favorite

method to secondguess- my favorite

mystery-matter to life. whose secrets are these? secrets
that are no longer mine.