Friday, October 30, 2015

the people want to know what the meaning is. what does it mean? what does it mean? rate the intensity of meaning and the kind of meaning it is. there aren't many other guidelines given other than this.
i've found meaning before and i question not how age-old the tradition of doing so is, but the relevance. hot air. hot air from sll angles. plain jane ol' goodlookin' heck of a pisser, a chaser of optimism: hope for the nervous.
nothing but resentment. nothing watered down about this. i won't allow it. every experience reacted to with disgust does a number. so persevere. perservere, you're alive to begin with. persevere, white-feathered angel. all the archangels and their woodwinds. all the cherubim. all the seraphim. persevere, because you've got this in the bag.
no more guessing games for person number one: i like doing what i want to do- abnormal relationships with anything with which a relationship can be formed. this is called taking the shortcut, pushing away self awareness. and since i don't do this as much as i'd like, i grow jaded, green as the scales of any sea serpent.
what i want is the pathetic way out. the way everyone else takes. me and my motherfucking country. gizmos and gadgets, and these alone, so it seems. then the next second, assad and putin are best friends and the states announce a special operation: digging new formations into syria to make up for those the worst terrorist group ever destroyed, and also for the fact that this group reflects the worldwide identity crisis (bitch, you better work it).
machines don't have emotions, is the thing.
one second you're pretty sure you don't care. the next second you're not so sure but you know you have a shot at backing out of caring. and this being so, next time i won't cry for help. i will rise out of my antics on a broomstick delivering mail.