Friday, October 23, 2015

world at my fingertips- solipsist-stuff; grandeur. it's nice that we're all unique, all experiences experiencing unique experiences and responding to them uniquely. right?
"quieting down" as i insist the process routes itself. the idea of going outside and working with plants- it's the idea itself- feels as if it's paralyzed me with a sting in my fat. pure terror- the unwilling entrance into some counterfeit k-hole. the idea of vaccuming, too; watching tv...these are all things i do to force myself into a mold. i want to be someone i am not. what i am: ?.
drugs that don't count: none. i'd like to be a plant. it's easy to remember what's legal- and what legal seems to be is counterproductive.

i will be back to check up on myself and to see if i'm being checked up on.