Thursday, December 3, 2015

hey jupiter by tori amos.

flying ships sagging- i guess that's what people who fail
to fall further then their senses of trust allow them

see in the sky
which they believe is a car they will win. a new car.

in this sky is shouted "BE THE ONLY MIRACLE, ASSHOLE."
these stars are dead but they go on seeming to exist, at least, to me. i want a dangling carrot- persuasion is missing, off
with the silent treatment.

i guess fifteen days isn't that much. but consider, during
these fifteen days i talked about that horrible thing

that happened this one time that changed
my personality, when i learned

committing to making changes when changes
can be made

can endanger a person, and i really ought
to talk about this sometime, consider
i was surrounded by the stuff i neglect myself

of because i'm too busy
unsucessfully protecting myself from my pain, and that

this eraser-board was finally wiped: cut-and-dry,
correct and singular
diagnosis, correct
path led to, being nice and stuff, tweaked
medications. "relief from nightmares," they supply, "much less torture for this poor girl who-has-been-through-so-much (et al)."

there was a heat wave who hooked into
my fish-mouth, and swam away with this,

us both- rallying- the end of the great gatsby. gatsby dies.
ebb. flow. continue working on
drawings. sleep steadily, eat steadily, know

i am reacting better then the last time. my, how i've changed
for the better...strides i've made. renounce

fidgeting
until it escapes the mind. hopefully-realistically not this time.
the emotional beast.

cosmic forgettings. prey
on moving on. live. live.
leave behind tragedy- faceless, it goes

without a chance to move forward.
i believe in buried hearts like this.

dear mr syndrome, i fell in love with you, that
volcanic sudden, unpredicted
sporadic type, but when i picture you

your features look deranged, you look like
the last guy but with deranged features,
who this happened to

in my head. difference: he was a dick.

frog and toad drove into the lily pads, drowning
not themselves really, just the lily pads.
ice cream had dripped everywhere is why.