Thursday, January 7, 2016

vandalize your social media now.

fellow comrades, please hear me out. i'm in a bit of a fucking pickle; feeling as if i'm being given an ultimatum: either experience another loss of ability to handle my depression, or accept one of the options i'm being handed as my future. we will delve into that shortly.
so i didn't have a sense of the future until recently, and even so, i question it, so i get that i'm not an expert. but this just seems so messed up- that is, what's expected of us bright, young americans these days. we have to sell our souls, because that's the standardized way? well, i'm not blind to standards, and they gross me the fuck out. and i'm not into this getting a job idea either, spending my time trying to convince myself i like my job, or going to a place pretending to have a job- clearly, in jail either way. half dead. killin' the time. what the fuck? what does this say about how society is degenerating, yet we're still pressured to give to it?

opening my mind to the cultural appropriation of yoga studios to have a reliable social outlet is disgusting me enough.

however, i do note i also have an option to rebel, moving myself further than the expectations others might have of me. at this point, it's either do or die. i need your help on this one. first, agree that it's about damn time we do something to decompose this treatment we receive. cool. you're in. next, hear me out.

according to my cover letter right now, "Aside from my dog-sitting business [lolol], I haven't worked in almost four years because I have a disability which is now in remission. I am decidedly ready to head back out into the working field."

what it looks like i've been asked to "open my mind" to is wasting my time. stagnating away in corrupt shit-holes where the mentally ill are treated like how the retarded are often treated. that goes against the grain of what i want from life, and i'd rather burn such shit-holes to the ground than waste away in them.
though i'm being advised to not get a job, it's like, well, i admit i need money in order to save up money and start travelling again, meeting up with different artists around the country. which is my plan. this was dismissed by my social worker. but. i just looked up job opportunities on the net. it was disgusting. i just can't oblige these standards. if structure for an unstructured mind- as if the collective unconscious doesn't exist!- turns out to be as important as it's rumored to be, nevertheless, i don't want to be miserable for it. i want to reserve the slave and master thing strictly for myself. i hardly believe it's important to sacrifice my sense of purpose for the sake of feeding the gaping mouth of the economy or god.
i'm not enough of a bratz doll to join the ranks of strippers, and i don't dance like a turd floating in toilet water.
another option: something i'm already acquainted with called ACESS-VR. another ghetto shit-hole, one that would teach me how to act fake in order to get a job. when i could just. act fake and get a job.

well these are the options presented to me for structure, and also, for purpose. problem. i already have purpose. just because you guys would rather read facebook updates and numb out from that over stimulation that abuses us and demands our attention, it doesn't mean you're not capable of looking around and considering how amazing this world is, how cool life is. it doesn't mean art doesn't exist. it's very much alive.

art is in you. art is you.

i am interested in collaborating with an artist or artists that share similar values or views with me. i paint, i write, and i'm willing to do anything for the sake of art.

and i'm not talking about your indoctrinated academia shit, your doing what's considered correct according to what you were taught. do it yourself. be your own teacher.

and be mine too. i will be yours in return. i learn quick.

now spread this to your social media, please, put it out there. i need as many of you to wake up. not just for my sake- i don't want to wind up half-dead anymore- but check the rest of us out. everyone in this country is half dead with our first world problems. first world problems that will eventually turn third world.

we are necessary. let's put a stop to the bullshit. come gather, artists everywhere, and teach each other. teach each other everything that isn't bullshit.

-author unwilling to provide or feed into the scam of identity. i encourage you to steal authorship.