Wednesday, March 23, 2016

cul de whore.

you imagine you're at that age where you're humbled. maybe i'm
half humbled and and half angry, the age of the ugly unveils itself.
i imagine you're living in the past and acting it out to justify
your anger at your inability to act in the present.
you act like- a-n-o-y-i-n-g. i'm sorry to say. and if you get
passive-aggressive, you need to deal with that without me.
of course, i feel i've been there countless times, because my writings
are attacks, thought indirect attacks. i don't give a fuck what
is thought of my work, anyway. the shit i'm not hiding.

she's a hostile shark, the people would say. i've never met such
a viscous creature. she's swerved throughout your forest.
and stays there forever. there's a shark in my head.

you are a mother. you are a hostile mother. you're a bitch to your daughter.
i've been teaching myself how to emulate the movements of starfish. they're
very far away from here. i would live in the wild, placidly
crawling through a scary jungle. i love
sucking on thing. i am nothing without sucking
on things. something
is caught in my throat that i can't get out, i'm all

inflamed and

i need to be taken apart, and redesigned, into receptors
for cataclysms among my neurotransmitters. look at me, i fold
for sleep which i don't really need. i pretend finding freedom is
unimportant. i'm in an age of severe disconnection. i fall for politics.
i fall for doing what i'm told to do. i fail at recognizing the truth
quite frequently and quite often it offends me.

it is a couple of gerbils stuck in my throat. i have to be
pulled by the hair until the gerbils are recovered, i just love jesus.
i simply love jesus i dedicate my life which sucks to him. god

above all else.