Friday, April 8, 2016

mysticism.

it's good that we remain interrelated, from
very far away i know
your heat...a fondness
inside me remains reserved
for your misgivings. the fondness

is my lover.
i like to believe

(which is wishful thinking) that you regret
fucking up with me. though i must say

you are an ignorant clown. how embarassing

rejecting your humanity to sit on a throne
alone and far from it
must be. must be hard.

i never
regret fucking up
when even i don't understand

why it's like this for me.
it's forgiveness
from me
i need

during such times. (it doesn't matter so much
anymore. i'm maturing.)

if you believe in our returning, do you suspect
it would all surround the astonishment
surrounding my mysticism?

do you suppose i could be made mystical? that's
very important.
do you suppose
i could be made by anyone

other than an unborn child? (i'm sorry.) do you know

a lotus that was around when i knew you
is still around, meandering
meaning

i've yet to learn from it? it dips below water into
mud and
everything is okay for it.

good night dumb teacher. my steadfast dreaming

heats under your demanding it not to.

when you think about it, your teachers
are only in this
for themselves, to fulfill

their own greed- as they interpret
fulfillment.
something to keep their shit together.