Tuesday, May 31, 2016

running away from home.

the thrill of being human
is when equating power to existence.

i am gnarly contortion in a flesh.
circumference is my own determination

from which
is expelled overbearing desperation
and excess dismay- my ability is choosing.

"i think it's breakfast i'd like
to eat
i'd like i think to dislike breakfast though
without resentment. it's nothing personal.
i'd like to eat some breakfast
now. please sir, some

breakfast. i think i would like
a tray of breakfast, please.

("sure." then, i embarked
the next endeavor.

my desire
is a big gun that will kill me without my noticing of such.
its caliber
is a perfect circle.

i wanted to trace the circle only
it was a wolf. i wanted to obey
only the wolf.
this wolf was thoughts of one altered and lost.
convinced my willpower was killing me
i gave it to the wolf.
it was one of those things that i
wanted to do
to have something to do without the help of my mother.

my mother is a bitch.
she is never

the wolf told me i ought lose myself in
the woods
and go into hiding.
altered by the spells of the wolf i went into a
hiding, tumbling

into a sump, becoming this sump.
it became my home as i went
under its wing-
this gray warmth came over me. it was a wolf who had
been following me, and i, shiftless.

(it had said,
"i need you to see this."
shrugging, i wasn't
even all that curious. i needed

to see this.

i continued to be seen.
the wolf said, "i'm going to make you go into hiding
somewhere else
with hardly any effort."

he was following me upon waking
until the end of day.
i am a wolf and several long fish
between dilapidated fangs.
i remind myself of hunger so i eat beetles and slobber.

you never knew your daughter.
you will never know your daughter. i never
wanted a mother. you were more than i could handle.
you fucked up your daughter.
you are an ugly mother.

the wolf is still out, burning me
with human tools.

i will never want anything again. i willnever want.
never any breakfast. i willneverwant anything
again inmylife.
i am protected. i willnever want.
the wolf regurgitated me.

the wolf goes on
to deceive you. you are fossil.
i am fossil.
only the wolf is new.