Tuesday, June 7, 2016

decision of reality.

in your dreams you run, though one cannot be certain of their actions in dreams at all.
then, for the first time in your life, you see a fox. upon seeing the fox,
you are astounded, and forget everything
except the fox, that is.

you choose to stalk him for a long time. (you feel in touch with your hunter-gatherer origins.)
the fox is to eventually drop his jaw as your former voice slips out, intending
to curse you and your dreams forever.

curse forever.
do not stay still. continue moving. spring.

(mind is disappearance.
disaster is shriek accustomed to; unsurprising. there is nothing to do:

vulgarity is decency.
you recall attacking yourself desperately with appropriation of that which is seen, bored of your ignorances you looked at in great detail.
you allowed this as this was your only chance at a centering.

(when i am bared, without
the enveloping appropriation, i fidget seemingly uncontrollably.

i remain empty, neglecting to feed a sense of self.
i reflect all
as a retaliation- for i am bared and humiliated.

my exhibit
is my retaliation.

when not exhibiting, i feel useless, urgently awaiting bedtime.

ask the chance of reality for a centering inside.

keep raised your anger as well as your fear. marry them together.
this is how you will keep alive.

keep alive.

now, discombobulate the marriage of anger and fear- the knowing
of their co-existing brings only desire for distraction,

another ugly shrine.

give your rapture to the next sunrise to be. you are unwanting of it.

lead us toward the path toward knives assembling.
the desire is criminal, as are you.

the city you find yourself in stretches of disease
of which one chooses to involve one's self,
manipulated into addiction since birth we are.

it is so that fire
is a fascination at most until it is so that it is all you know.

the inconceivable before the initial globe of light
stabs the bottoms of your feet
as you beg to dance intrepidly. it is danger you seek.

the dance is the gift to be given
to the torturing knife presumed to be ahead of you.

continue to breathe. you are losing awareness of the importance
of breathing.

"what is in it for me?" you ask. it has occurred to you that you are probably dead.
somehow this causes you to believe this is the end of everything.

calm down.
if not to calm down, choose not to humiliate yourself
by attempting to prove the truth of that which does not cooperate
with light.

do not give away disasters. step out of your own way, knowing
of your doing. practice humility.

hear me speak, as i am every needle in the world, swallowed
by every domesticated cat and every domesticated dog,
that must either be taken apart or must die on my behalf.

you are to not claim to be more than a single needle in a single cat's belly.

life grows inside of me, the size of mountains
you prepare for the receiving of.
it is i who is to receive this life growing inside of me
which i prepare for.

i am light stopping you from being anything else
but light.
recognize to completeness of light.

how terrifying a division from light must be, especially

one into a fearful fire (both one).
how terrifying a divisional refusal to acknowledge interrelating- how

one must suffer uninspired by conflict, one's inner conflicts
unknown are never to be resolved.
it will be hard to look at others.
it will be them versus yourself.
this is gravity testing us.

has the sun broken, having nothing left to say? i look
around myself and see this becoming
of us all- disasters wanting

to kill each other, kill something, kill jesus
making a show of his glory.

he will pop out of the sky having nothing to prove. we will
continue to also have nothing to prove, only

bored of these origins. to be demanded of a desire assigned
to keep one together
in a choking- a binding.

when such cannot be at the moment
will drive one to extremes unnoticed
as we are all driven to our unnoticed extremes.

is who it was asked of me to be.