Friday, July 7, 2017

i am rejection mind.

enter, enter rejection mind.
beyond your gates i am glacial i am safe.
your nectar my mouth, hive.

i'm at a loss and i don't care. ruling out the performance art i do
in which i make teddy bears out to be the bad guys, as i'm too old
to admit they still mother me kindly, yet too ashamed

to admit i don't play pretend with them anymore.

memory, or guardian, i think it's you

that has something to do with this. i have news
i'd like to know your response to. (is it one protective?)

i'm getting abused again. huge chunks of me feel younger
than ever. i look back and think, you know, that was abuse then, and

i can validate that.

no.

if i was president, here's what i'd abolish, for you: just no more of any of your crutches. that's to say: no more money. no more time. no more bitching and
moaning. no more
talking about donald trump- i miss george bush. no more being a bad listener.

no more being dumber than me. no more machismo. i'm embarrassed to have
anything to do with it. it makes me feel
like i can't be an anarchist.
no more internet addiction (that one goes without saying).

and the rules for myself:
number one: addiction is always allowed.
however: no more bra, no more underwear, no more makeup

no more white skin (it makes me a tourist),
no more meat, no more sugar

no more waste except
the disappearing kind (i was never a good enough anorexic), gotta

do me like my hair's on fire.

whatever abuse has to offer me: no. i can't believe
i have to keep learning from this.

i am rejection mind.
it is possible to be safe without power this way.
nectar, mouth, hive.